?

Log in

the life of weiner mackelvein
 
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in weiner mackelvein's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Monday, June 20th, 2005
7:49 pm
#%#$^
My peroid juice smells like scrambled eggs

Current Mood: cheerful
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
1:59 am
easter weiner style
*giggles*

i just stuffed 72 hard boiled eggs in my pants! a new record. then i came downstairs for easter dinner. and then mother told me to sit down at the dinner table. i explained to her that i couldn't sit down and when i did that, aunt rose told me that she hopes i die like jesus did in that movie "passion of something" i dont remember cuz i was preoccupied tweeking my nipple. so mother forced me to sit down. At that moment i felt a lot of pain as 72 eggs shells went up my johnny hole.

so i excused myself from the table i did the only thing i could do....put on my donald duck shoes...for special powers. and proceeded to dance furiously to cotton eyed joe. as i was doing that all the egg shells fell out of my ass and onto the floor.

i then relized mother needed those eggs for easter dinner. so i ran out into the garage and grabbed more eggs and came back to put them on the table. i had a couple left over from in my pants and i put them on the table as well.

aunt rose dove in. but then she started to choke. apparently she hand a massive bum hair stuck in her throat from one of the eggs that was in my pants. so i put on my mini mouse skirt to give myself super powers and give aunt rose the himilick maneourvor.

after that mother beat me with one of her custom made easter clogs. i retreated to my room and was really hungry, i had already eaten everything from my basket except this great stuff at the bottom of the basket.

i started eating it and eating it, but this candy didn't taste very sweet. mother busted in the door and smacked me the easter fish she caught that day. i called him herman until he was a weapon. now i don't like him anymore.

i am gonna go find the easter bunny and lick his bunnyhole while wearing my new janet jackson hoodie!!! :)

Current Mood: JANET JACKSONEY
Friday, February 25th, 2005
2:06 am
Chicken Nugget Shorts!
LEVEL ONE:
-- Name: Weiner Mackelvein
-- Birthplace: mothers naughty action zone
-- Current Location: sussex nj
-- Eye Color: brown like poop
-- Hair Color: BRUNETTE! or pink with wigs
-- Height: 5’8”
-- Righty or lefty: Lefty
-- Zodiac Sign: I love ace of base!
LEVEL TWO
-- Your heritage: snack cakes
-- The shoes you wore today: my little mermaid boppers.
Your weakness: food/bowling alleys, dresses, crapping my pants,
-- Your fears: not being a pretty princess
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: shaving me asshole
LEVEL THREE
-- Your most overused phrase[s]: mother, i crapped my pants, i crapped my pants
-- Your thoughts first waking up: when i am gonna die :(
-- Your best physical feature: my saucy salsa dancing legs

-- Your bedtime: after mother beats me

LEVEL FOUR
-- Pepsi or Coke: rc cola
-- McDonald's or Burger King:

-- Single or group dates: mother doesn't allow me to see women
-- Nike or Adidas: reebok pumps, or lacey boots
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: chcocalte milk

-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee that has been in the pot for 2 days

LEVEL FIVE
-- Smoke: heavens no!
-- Cuss: always put salt in your eyes
-- Sing: all the time
-- Take a shower everyday: no when mother forces me to
-- Have a crush(es): oprah
-- Do you think you've been in love: with my golden girls tapes
-- Excited to go to college or university?: i am excited to die
-- Like high school: got beat up so i crapped in thier lunch

-- Want to get married: Yes
-- Believe in yourself: i am the weiner of course i do!
-- Get motion sickness: i get sick from sitting upright for to long.
-- Think you're attractive: yep i am the hottest boy ever
-- Think you're a health freak: i love to eat fried food
-- Get along with your parents: i love mother and she beats me
-- Like thunderstorms: scary!!! :(
- Play an instrument: i use my balls as a drum

LEVEL SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: no
Smoked: no
-- Made Out: Yes no
Gone on a date: no
Gone to the mall: Yes to go on the horsey ride
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: every day nigga
-- Eaten sushi: he is my friend
-- Been on stage: been mrs. higglesworth in community plays
-- Been dumped: Nope!
-- Gone skating: roller skating?
-- Made homemade cookies: yes and you aren't getting any
-- Gone skinny-dipping: i am too fat to go skinny dipping i think
-- Dyed your hair: no
-- Stolen anything: tella tubbies doll

LEVEL SEVEN: Ever..
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
-- Been caught "doing something": everyday playin with mister dirty pull
-- Been called a tease: Yes, yes I have
-- Gotten beaten up: yes :(
-- Changed who you were to fit in: i found a penny
-- How do you want to die: right now
-- Where you want to go to college/university?: there is school after high school?
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: a pretty princess
-- What country would you most like to visit: texas

LEVEL NINE: In a guy/girl...
-- Best eye color?: blonde
-- Best hair color?: sharpie marker
-- Short or long hair: i like beer
-- Height: what in high heals or what are we talling about here?
-- Best weight: right now
-- Best articles of clothing: my hawaian lady killer shirt
-- Best first kiss location: in my butt

LEVEL TEN
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: mother,mitzi
#of CDs? i got alot of 8 tracks
-- Number of piercings: evil
-- Number of tattoos: 2
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: every week
-- Number of scars on my body: 36
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: not making it to the batheroom while watching bernie mac





You Suck ^-^
-Bad- You're the exact opposite of what any guy
wants or needs, unless he happens to need a
quick lay. You're cruel. You toy with people.
You're probably a bitch, and i don't think i'd
like you if i met you. Oh go screw a random
male already.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i made all the gothies angry at me with my hottness.

http://www.livejournal.com/community/gothic_babes/6354784.html?page=1#comments

Current Mood: horny
Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
1:44 am
pin ball fun fun!
so i went back to the bowling alley after being fired for so long. to my surpirse they got a pinball machine. it was so smooth like my newly shaven legs. so i started playing and playin and playing. i played so much i completley forgot i had to go to the bathroom. i was reminded when a warm log rolled down my leg. i couldn't stop it!!!flyswatter. since i was wearing pink shorts it fell right on top of my shoes. there were huge blast marks on the back of my pants. my sassy blue leg warmers were ruined ,but to my surpirse no one noticed. i went to go grab a towel to wipe the creamy nugget off my shorts. i couldn't believe i got away with pooping my pants in public. but then some handsome fellow came walking towards me. it turns out that towel was his "champion bowling shirt". i wanna cover myself in gasoline. he noticed the "racing strips" i added to his shirt. he punched me in the head and threw me down two flights of stairs.

when i woke up i was being strangled by christmas lights. it was mother! it appears that it was all a wet dream.

i'm gonna stick candy canes in my naughty who who hole

Current Mood: wet
Friday, October 15th, 2004
2:06 am
i am so constipated. its not a fun time to be weiner! :(

today i ate so many vanilla scones. i just watched that new eminem video and told mother i want to be him for halloween, she went right to hitting me with a carrot scrapper!

i will show her someday! someday i will get breast implants and she will see some day i will stop eating so much and she will see and someday i will stop crapping my pants and she will see!

i might as well get breast implants. i have been lactating all over the place.

i have filled up 3 jugs of it.

i think i am gonna set up a stand and sell it like the kids in my neighborhood sell lemonade.

i need to cause i spent all my money on the psychic hot line asking about my dead pets.

and then there is fred, fred wants me to go roller skating with him tommorrow.

so i sewed the prettiest pants with strawberries patches on my bum.

i am gonna be so cute and wiggle my lil buns all over that roller rink.

fred says i can even wear my pink roller skates!!!

i will be back with pictures soon.

i am gonna go milk myself again and make some ovaltine!!!

Current Mood: milky
Thursday, August 26th, 2004
8:15 pm
bad dream
i had a terrible dream about inspector gadget last night!!!. he tried to shove toilet paper down my throat until i choked. i woke up to a wet bed. i was just so upset i started eating hermit crab food. i guess there is a reason its for hermit crabs. i burped until i threw up.

my room started to smell really bad. i sprayed hawain mist to cover up the smell. but that just made my room smell like hawain puke piss. mitzi started barking. i told her to be quiet so she didn't wake mother up. mother doesn't like to be woken from her beauty rest. i put mitzi in the closet so the sound would be muffled. its a big closet. i forgot that i puked so i slipped and fell in it and land on vase and glass shards got stuck in my feet.

then i heard a loud noise coming from the closet. when i opened the door, i almost passed out. mitzi went diarrhea all over my new tommy hilfiger pants. i was gonna wear them so boys wouldn't beat me up anymore. thats what to cool kids are wearing now. i guess thats why mitzy was barking. she needed to go poopie outside. my room smelled really really bad. mother heard me walking around so she came in my room in raging fury and just stood there.

she said-

"MOMAS TRYING TO BANG DAVID HASSELHOFF IN HER SLEEP. NOW STOP MAKING NOISE WITH YOUR FEET!"

"WHAT SMELLS SO DANG GONE GOOD IN HERE?"

????? mother thought all that smelled good? so i then covered myself in hermit crab food vomit and doggy diarrhea.

if mother thinks i smell good all the time mother won't yell at me.

i puked again. i didn't think it smelled good.

I want to dress gary coleman up as the hamburglar and chase him around.

Current Mood: ew
Friday, August 13th, 2004
5:06 pm
about me
x: name = weiner mackelvein
:x: nicknames = stud, g spot pleasurer
:x: piercings = mother said no
:x: tattoos = i draw pictures on myself so its like i have them
:x: height = 5'7
:x: shoe size = 6
:x: hair color = brownish
:x: length = 5inches?
:x: siblings = i don't know what happened to them. i smelled roast beef that night then they were gone

LAST...
:x: movie you went to see = white chicks
:x: movie you rented = mary pop ins
:x: movie you bought = meet joe black
:x: song that was stuck in your head = yellow card "ocean city"
:x: cd you bought = lil kim
:x: cd you listened to = weather girls
:x: person you've called = 1-800-girl
:x: person that's called you = fred called me last night about rolling skating
:x: tv show you've watched = joeshmo 2
:x: person you were thinking of = mother

DO...

:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = i love living with mother
:x: you think about suicide = almost everyday
:x: others find you attractive = mother calls me a handsome young man
:x: you want more piercings = i thought about doing my nipples. but then they would always be hard
:x: you drink = secretly. i would get yelled at if mother found out
:x: you do drugs = only magic marker
:x: you smoke = cat nip
:x: you like cleaning = my balls need a good scrumbing every once in awhile
:x: you like roller coasters = they make me puke blood
:x: you write in cursive or print = i can type.
:x: you carry a donor card = i carry a boner?

FOR OR AGAINST...

:x: long distance relationships = if you love each other that much then go you!
:x: using someone = i don't like it. it always happens to me.
:x: suicide = very much!!!
:x: killing people = i support
:x: teenage smoking = kids are always trying to get me to buy them cigaretts. so i take the money run. for!
:x: driving drunk = i love drunk bowling
FAVORITES

:x: food = grilled cheese and my own flueds
:x: song = "i was gonna go to court but i was high"
:x: thing to do = play altered beast
:x: thing to talk about = video games, beer, and my love for mother
:x: drink = spoiled milk. thats all we have in the house
:x: clothes = hawian shirts, sweat pants. i don't really need clothes. its only for when i go out. i wear underoos around the house
:x: movies = marvins room, cat from outerspace, people under the stairs
:x: band/singer = pee diddy
:x: holiday = i like christmas cuz mother makes cakes that give me the poopies for a week. i love it
:x: new nerdy saying = the worst possible things happen to weiner at the worst possible momment

HAVE YOU...

:x: ever cried over a girl / guy = i did when she kicked me in the butthole when i said hi to her. i don't know why girls do that
:x: ever lied to someone = only on the internet. i like goth girls
:x: ever been in a fist fight =with my stuffed animals. we were at it for a good half hour
:x: ever been arrested = yes for showing my privates in the wrong places

NUMBER..

:x: of times I have been in love? = twice
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? = all i have to say is boys lie
:x: of hearts I have broken? = i try not to. i am cute though
:x: of drugs taken illegally? = enzyme? bob does it so can i right?
:x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = mother, she throws alot of stuff at me but she loves me. that remote control hurts though
:x: of people I consider my enemies? mother told me that people from africa are but i don't understand. she calls them something that starts with an N
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? i stole from KB toys once. and i was on the soccer team
:x: of scars on my body? = i tried to kill myself in the 5th grade. i have scares all up my arm.

FAVORITE...

:x: disney movie =all of them, anything that attracts little kids to me is good.
:x: scent = arm pit and egg salade
:x: word = penie
:x: eye color = i have in my snake contacts
:x: flower = thats the smell of my poopie someimtes
:x: actor/actress: reese witherspoon
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...

:x: pretty = pretty cute
:x: funny = my friends at livejournal do sometimes.
:x: hot = buns
:x: friendly = very, i'd invite anyone over to play altered beast
:x: amusing = my boners are sometimes. it curves in weird directions
:x: ugly = noooo
:x: loveable = i love to cuddle
:x: pessimistic = whats that mean?
:x: optimistic = i wear socks up to my knees sometimes?
:x: caring = yes
:x: sweet = golden girls
:x: dorky = quiet :(. stop mocking me

:x: Spell your first name back wards = reniew
:x: The story behind your AIM user name = its my name
:x: Are you straight? = kinda
:x: Where do you live? = sussex new jersey!!!
:x: 4 words that sum you up = cuddley, loving, gram crackers, mommas boy


DESCRIBE YOUR –

:x: Wallet = hello kitty
:x: Toothbrush = don't need one
:x: Jewelry worn daily = my belly chain
:x: Pillow cover = muppet babies
:x: Blanket= potato sack
:x: Sunglasses = i just let my eyes burn.
:x: Shoes = red vinyl go go boots
:x: CD in stereo right now = god head
:x: What you are wearing now = hot green thong and see through wife beater

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) –

:x: In my mouth = corn cunks in my teeth
:x: In my head = last nights masterbation.
:x: Wishing = mother would bake me some pie
:x: After this = out a dress on and dance to shakira
:x: Talking to = fred
:x: Eating = pudding
:x: If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? = bob barker. i hate him
:x: Person you wish you could see right now = this guy that i saw at a party once. he wore a giraffe costume. he was cute
:x: Is next to you = a pile dirty tissues. i had to :(
:x: Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month= the texas line dancing party at matt's house!!
:x: Something that you are deathly afraid of? = getting poopy stuck in my butt and having to go to the hospital to get it out. so i make sure when i have to go i go
:x: Do you believe in love = i love mother
:x: Do you believe in soul mates = maybe
:x: Do you believe in love at first sight = don't know really
:x: Do you believe in forgiveness = i masterbate alot
:x: Do you believe in God = i masterbate alot
:x: If you could have any animal for a pet = ape
:x: What is the latest you've ever stayed up =mother says i have to go to bed at 9 but i play on the interent sometimes shhhhh
:x: Can you eat with chopsticks = i like to use my hands
:x: What's your favorite coin? = the ones i can put in my ears

Current Mood: cold
Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
3:35 am
one time i ate a whole bunch of french fries and a strawberry milkshake, then look what i did



Current Mood: turdy
Saturday, July 24th, 2004
3:53 am
i'm hungry
i strongly dislike it when we are out of spinach pancakes....

fred was over and he got really drunk. he passed out from drinking so i got the idea to to hit him the head and wake him up with them. so i counted to 3 and turned on the light. i started hitting him with spinach pancakes while jumping on the bed. then i started screaming "oh the spinach pancakes fred!" fred replied with socking me in the nuts!!!!

so that means that i had to settle for fast food. off to mcdonalds i went. i had to borrow mothers go cart. it was beautiful outside simply magical...i felt like donald duck was holding my hand in a disney movie. AND.....*drumroll* i saw the biggest horse penis ever!!!!!! while driving. i like corn dogs.

fuck me bran muffin i thought.


i saw lights behind me. it was one of those guys from the wmca song. he told me that i wasn't allowed to ride a go cart on a main street. then i said "i'm just going to mcdonalds since i ran out of spinach pancakes cause fred threw them out the window" so the cop hit me with his night stick, pulled me out of the go cart, and then he hopped on it and drove away. i guess he doesn't like mcdonalds.
i had to walk the rest of the way. i saw a bee hive and wanted honey. in this one cartoon this bear reaches in there and he gets honey. i think his name was bugs bunny? so i reached into the bee hive to retrieve some honey, and my hand got stuck in it. so i tried to smack my hand into the trunk of the tree to get it off. the bees didn't like that. so they stung my roids and my eye balls. i could still see but everything was a bit blurry.

i wandered back on to the road. i saw a blue huffy bike with white tires a little ways up the road. so i hoped on it and peddled to mcdonalds. it was really really hot outside and i felt really sick but i had to get mcdonalds.

i got to mcdonalds and the bike didn't wanna stop. i guess the breaks didn't work no more. so i crashed into the mcdonalds wall. when i woke up 2 hours later i walked in everyone was giving me weird looks. then i felt really sick. everyone was looking at me weird like i just went down on mighty mouse.

so i decided to go in the ball pit/play place. when i went down the slide i clocked myself in the head and threw up in the ball pit. i got out and in horror all these kids were coming down the slide into the ball pit. AND they started playing in it!!!!

then i got yelled at cuz i didn't take my shoes off.

some soccer mom noticed that i puked in the ball pit. so she started yelling at me. but i was too hungry so i started eating her big mac. she threw her soda on me. but that just made me crap my pants. then i went bad in the ball pit again. what a great day!!!!


i'm gonna pretend i'm whoopi goldberg and shave my asshole while watching fantastic four!!!

Current Mood: optimistic
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
11:59 pm
i'm switching to pepsi
today i was making a ginger bread collage, and i spilled glitter all over my pants. then i relized the glitter would look great somewhere else....

so i stuck my wanger in the paste and dumped glitter all over it. ;).

while i was pleasuring myself with my glitter penis, fred happened to call. he asked if i wanted to go to a club in Sayerville. i was in a mood to shake my buns. so fred came over and picked me up.

we got to the club and i noticed they were playing alot of disco hits. i was happy about that! i danced the night away , but later on i got tired. so i sat down at the bar. some very nice guy named filacio asked me if i wanted a drink. i said "sure i'll get a chocolate milk" but instead i got a coke. a weird tasting coke? but i was really thirsty so i had 6 or 7 of them.

then i went out and boogied again. warm stuff started to run down my leg. oh well it must've been sweat or something. even though it smelled like corn beef? then i got really sick and filacio took me to the bathroom. what a nice guy for looking out for me. i went over the toilet throwing up. i guess coke makes me sick. then i felt a weird sensation. almost like a throbbing in the back ofmy pants. but i was seeing 4 or everything. also everything was spinning so i didn't really know what was going on. i tured around to see where filacio went and he was right behind me in me!! then he hit me in the back of the head with his platform shoe.

when i woke up it was morning. i had a note attached to my stomach from filacio. the note read " thanks for the nice night, by the way, i like glitter too". i aslo had blood all over the back of my dockers. i wonder what that was about? i just know mother is gonna be real mad cuz blood is a tuff stain.

i got up and called fred to come and pick me up. i asked him "what kind of club did we go to?" he said "a gay club"

i miss cathy lee gifford

Current Mood: sore
Sunday, July 11th, 2004
10:15 pm
i feel 20 pounds lighter
look what i did *giggle*



Current Mood: cheerful
Friday, July 2nd, 2004
11:11 pm
shopping for mother
sorry everyone i just got from jail. i got caught wacking off in the comic book store. i didn't see anything wrong with it but what ever. :(

mother sent me to do errands at the grocery store. she wanted hair spray. i didn't know where to look for it so i saw something called "femininne products" something like that...i thought to look there. there were these weird cotton ball thingies there but they weren't shaped like balls. i know when things are shaped like balls.mmmm. it said "securely holds flueids" mother could use that i thought. she could use that for cooking. i don't know why but people were giving dirty looks. so i puked blood. mother is gonna be mad at me. blood is hard to get out of shirts.

maybe i should by her a present from this magical isle i've discovered. wow this stuff smelled good. "summers eve?"

at the register i asked the clerk to gift rap the summers eve and cooking cotton ball stuff. she did but she staired at me alot. i think she had a crush on me <3.

i returned home and gave mother her presents.

she broke my ankle.

well since i can't walk, i tried to see how far i could get a cucumber to go down my throat.

Current Mood: sore
Monday, March 29th, 2004
10:46 pm
i'm back
it's been a long time. should've left you without a dope beat to step to. step to step to.

i'm back from utah. i was doing live role playing games L.A.R.P. !!! i was the master of dragons!!! it was really fun making my outfit. its made of berlap and it has a hood. the only problem is that it says potato on the front. i made it from mothers old potato sacks.

at the role playing game there was all sorts of people and i really thought i might make some good friends there. i sort of did but there was this guy arnold and he kept making fun of my outfit. he was so mean and then who should apear but my princess in shiny vinyl. I think she was some kind of vampire...anyway she smacked arnold and then she asked me over her hotel room. I thought wow she sureis nice...before i knew it i was swiming in her many roles and kissing her many chins that i guess was apart of her neck. DAMN I WANT TO BE THE PRINCESS!!!

we ran into a bit of a problems as i looked past her waist. i started to feel an urge inside..and i just could'nt help it i began to piss all over myself in excitEment. lucky for me she found it to be very sexy. Then the problem arose...she had a chasity belt on. she said it would be okay cuz she had the key in the butt. the key some how was missing! i tryed riping it off and it would'nt work. i tryed a hammer too. then i thought maybe a can opener would work and it looked like it would but just as things were starting to go well i caught a part of her fleshy vagina on the can opener! we had to go to the hospital but she hurt so much she just wore the bed sheet cuz she couldnt put clothes on. they fixed her up but she didnt want to do anything after that and i had to go home. i dont understand, i guess i am better off beating it to the golden girls.

when i got in i thought i would be greeted by mother smiling and happy but it wasnt so. It turns out mother wanted the sacks to make grandma a quilt. I didnt know this. you see grandma is allergic to most fabrics and she often breaks out in anal warts if she even touched cotten. so mother was furious and she striked down apon me with great vengence and anger. she grabed me by the hair and threw me face first into the front of the oven. then she sat on my back and slamed my face into the floor. then she spitted on my cuts and walked away. she did come back into the room tcuz she had dropped her cheese cake on the floor and then she stormed out.


i think i'll ask next time i borrow somthing from mothers room. Now Im going to go greet the neighbors new pet goat fluffy and jerk off with sand paper.

Current Mood: horny
Thursday, March 4th, 2004
3:28 am
paddlerific
so today i gave my gerbil henry a bath in the kitchen sink. after that i put him on the conuter and went to grab my hungry man diner and put it in the microwave for 12 minutes. i started hear this weird crackling noise and i looked inside.as i did i noticed henry was in there. i went to go unplug the mircrowave and i couldn't find the cord. i don't understand this new age technology.

i looked again and heard a big popping noise. henry had just exploded. so i gathered up his remains and scooped them into a noxzema container.

mother rushed in to check on the noise and tripped and knocked over the container and it spilled all over her.

she freaked out and pulled down my pants.

then she took the canoe paddle off the wall and started beating my buns with it.

she then took her glade cinnamin spray and sprayed it in my mouth cause i was cursing to clean my mouth out.

i waddled up to my room and was very sad and for some reason very horney.

then i watched my golden girls tape while wacking off and got sick from the sadness i had because henry was dead. so i threw up on my pee pee.

i am so sorry henry. i will meet you in heaven soon.

Current Mood: hyper
Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
9:00 pm
this is surpirsing
Transgender Barbie
You're Transgender Barbie! You're well, there's no
way to describe you. Pick a sex and stay with
it!


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Mood: satisfied
Thursday, February 19th, 2004
1:59 am
i hate it when cousin dina comes over
my cousin dina came over today. she got really drunk and naked. she ended up rubbing her naked parts all over my friend chuck. i have never seen my cousin naked before. it just didn't look right. her tuna toco was hanging and i think she was wearing a diaper or something. it has a whole bunch of blood in it. i didn't quite understand it. i've never seen anything like it. another thing i noticed is that she had hair leading down into her ass. i thought only guys had that problem. her leg brushed up against me and i think she cut my face open.

this was all really confusing so i just walked away. i looked to my left to find that my red playdough was missing. SHE ATE MY RED PLAYDOUGH!!!!

the walking away didn't work. so i tired my best to help her out. when i saw her next she has herself spread out over the coffee table, shooting herion. mother was going to be back soon!! what do i do with my naked cousin doing drugs on the coffee table.

i quickly ran into my room to put on a dress to make me feel comfortable. i didn't know what to do so i called the cops. i opened the door for them to come in. but they plowed me over and started beating her down like the nice blackman i saw on tv once.

oh no mother is home!!! she sent me up to my room

so here i am sitting in my room hearing a bunch of shouting. i'll let everyone know what happens.

Current Mood: worried
Friday, February 13th, 2004
11:19 pm
all i wanted was steak
my friend fred decided to take me out tonight due to the fact that i have been so upset lately. and thanks for the advice from everyone. i did end up flipping my matress over. he took me to go line dancing. i got to swing for the oyster, bang for the chocha, and dance for the dinalong. then i hurt my back during "achey breaky heart". and i tripped over a peanut on the floor. so fred said "if i went on the mechcanical bull he would buy me a girl." i didn't really know what he meant but it was probably good. so i got on ole chester the bull. i was able to stay on for most of the time but lost all my change and i chipped my tooth on the bull's head. i fell off and then eveyone started laughing at me. so i ran to the little boy's room since everyone thinks my pain is so funny. but they were actually laughing of the fact that i had a complete hard on.

me and fred left that place and went to a place called "high heels". fred said that they had great meat there. so i couldn't wait to get some steak. i walked in and all the waitresses where half naked. i just wanted steak. and i asked if they could get me steak and she bit my nipple through my shirt. fred said" that she was all mine." and i told him that slavery was outlawed a long time ago. god i love urkel. i asked her what time it was and she pulled me into a secluded room. and then she started sexually harassing me. which volates me and volates the law. so i stared screaming and all fred would do was give me thumbs up. then she grabbed me and put me over her lap. then she started spanking me. i didn't anything wrong!! mother tells me when i do something wrong. so i did the only thing i could. i peed my pants hard. and i kept peeing and peeing. she screamed "what the fuck!!" and then some big black guy comes in and knees me in the balls. then he kicked me out. i couldn't go back in there tp get fred so i had to sit on the side walk with cold piss freazing my pants to my legs while keeping busy with my slide whistle. why did i get in trouble? i was the one that got sexually harassed. the legal system is really messed up. i'm going to write a letter to congress telling them i got spanked and no matter how much i screamed no one cared.

i'm going to refrigerate my butt plug and have artic adventures

Current Mood: confused
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
3:34 am
bad!!!
oh no oh no!!! i poopied all over my bed! i don't know what to do. there are stains all over my bed. this is bad this is real bad. and i can't even go into the bathroom to clean myself off becuase mother will get real mad at me cuz i'm still awake. so i have to sleep somehow with poopie in my butthole and my legs. hmm i could blame this on the dog....no no!! thats a horrible thing to think!! i'm gonna be sick my room smells so bad. *cries*

i need to stick my dick in something right away *runs away*

Current Mood: embarrassed
Sunday, February 8th, 2004
2:40 am
god must've spent a little more time on you
i want this!!! i want this!!!! i gotta ask mother if i can order this!!!!!

*excited*




Current Mood: naughty
Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
8:04 pm
i'm sorry
last night was my 3rd attempt at suicide, but i could never bring myself to do it. i'm am such an idiot and i'm very ashamed of myself. please disregard the last entry.
yeah i admit to trying to jump off my roof, slamming me head in the refigerator door, and trying to slit my wrists with a crayola sissors. i guess someone up above doesn't want me to end my life now. thats pretty lucky that i didn't die from my attemps. i just got to find another job since i'm such an idiot and i quite my old one. i need to cuddle with mitiz and eat ice cream. oh yeah!! i have those oprah reruns on tape!! i should watch those!!!

Current Mood: stressed
[ << Previous 20 ]
About LiveJournal.com