my room started to smell really bad. i sprayed hawain mist to cover up the smell. but that just made my room smell like hawain puke piss. mitzi started barking. i told her to be quiet so she didn't wake mother up. mother doesn't like to be woken from her beauty rest. i put mitzi in the closet so the sound would be muffled. its a big closet. i forgot that i puked so i slipped and fell in it and land on vase and glass shards got stuck in my feet.
then i heard a loud noise coming from the closet. when i opened the door, i almost passed out. mitzi went diarrhea all over my new tommy hilfiger pants. i was gonna wear them so boys wouldn't beat me up anymore. thats what to cool kids are wearing now. i guess thats why mitzy was barking. she needed to go poopie outside. my room smelled really really bad. mother heard me walking around so she came in my room in raging fury and just stood there.
"MOMAS TRYING TO BANG DAVID HASSELHOFF IN HER SLEEP. NOW STOP MAKING NOISE WITH YOUR FEET!"
"WHAT SMELLS SO DANG GONE GOOD IN HERE?"
????? mother thought all that smelled good? so i then covered myself in hermit crab food vomit and doggy diarrhea.
if mother thinks i smell good all the time mother won't yell at me.
i puked again. i didn't think it smelled good.
I want to dress gary coleman up as the hamburglar and chase him around.